Over the years I’ve found that the people who experience the most easeful, sustainable change are willing to do the following;
1 – Acknowledge with compassion where they currently are in their lives. No judgment, shaming, “should”ing themselves. Acceptance of where we are isn’t resigning ourselves to the status quo; it’s simply honoring our current reality. Giving up the fight in order to create space for forward motion 😉
2 – Be willing to explore, “discover” what led us to our current circumstances; this is a bit like gardening if we pull the weed off but don’t remove it at the root we might not see said weed for a bit but it’s still in the soil and eventually it will appear again. If we strive to change our lives by getting to the root of behaviors, we create the opportunity to permanently let go of that which no longer serves us.
3 – Triggers. Identify what pushes our particular “buttons”. Recognize that triggers are a part of life. Create an if/then approach to shift the neural pathway. IF I find myself “triggered” THEN I apply this new, previously discussed coping mechanism, eventually producing a new, more optimal, pattern.
4 – Adopt an attitude of love, kindness, compassion and patience with yourself…perhaps the way you would treat a cherished friend. Most of us recognize that berating those close to us when we don’t like their behavior is not motivating or inspiring. This approach keeps us locked in the same unhappy dynamic in our relationships. This applies to our relationship to self as well.
5 – See change as a practice. Our commitment to 1 – 4 over, and over and over produces the most optimal results.
Wishing you great joy on your journey…step by step