Lessons I’ve learned…

Two of the lessons I’ve learned in life so far…

First, everyone is my teacher ESPECIALLY the little people in my life; they teach me wonder, discovery, awe, courage, love, acceptance, tenacity, and so much more.  Another lesson I’ve learned through them, as well as trial and error, is to not be tied to “form” in regards to love.  Over the last several years I’ve worked with many people who feel their lives are less full, less rich because in that particular moment they were not involved in an intimate/romantic partnership. As a result of this thinking, all the love that arrived in their lives from their family, friends, little people, etc didn’t move them. They remained stuck in a feeling of want and lack…

When I allowed myself to be moved by ALL the ways love arrives in my life, I became #heartFULL AND that attracted even MORE love into my life.
My #thoughts #Mystory…love beach

…a pause

This was my Mom’s go to spot with us, her little people…we found our “calm”, and still do at the beach.
Christmas Eve I came here, to Golden Gardens on Puget Sound, to regroup and reflect during the busy-ness.  A quick 20 minutes.

I came away from my “pause” feeling refreshed, recharged and with an immense sense of gratitude and peace.
I hope each of you has a place to go, a person to see and an activity that you do which provides peace and ease.

A pause.

If you haven’t discovered your people, place and “thing”  perhaps allow this new year to be about exploration and discovery…your adventure with you.  And if you are thinking; “where do I begin?” Call me and we will create a plan.

Happy New Year! XO


holidays 2014 005

a glimpse at my underbelly…

TodayNWTrue story. I was shopping with my Mom in the cosmetic department of Nordstrom. Simultaneously, Susan Grace was texting me as I was sending her a picture of a skin care product. Purchase: yes? no? She asked if I would accompany her as a skincare model on TodayNW. I LOVE Susan, while my skin soaks up her nurturing, my mind soaks up her wisdom and gentle loving care. She is a powerhouse, a trusted business advisor. So, of course, I said YES!!!!

…and then the voices kicked in, the ones that remind me I have a wide face and I might look like a chipmunk on screen. After all doesn’t the TV add ten pounds? Will we be live? I have a lifelong fear of speaking in public…my need to address this at a subconscious level is a future post 😉

My dear friend, Ginger, yoga teacher extraordinaire at hauteyoga, was going to be modeling as well. This both comforted me and gave me pause…G has the selfie, both in picture and video form, down to a science. Deer in the headlights next to Selfie Master…hmmmm

In the end, I negotiated with myself. This will be like being in her studio or my office in a private session. Breathe. Recognize the incredible honor it is that Susan asked me to accompany her. And note to self: this isn’t about you!

I write this to share that, as I tell each of my patients, we ALL have stuff. Each of us is a “work in progress.” The “get out of your head, and into your heart” mantra that I learned in yoga from my other studio sanctuary Live Love Flow, Jaime Scates Schmidt (thank you!). That’s my practice.

Today I did the deed; Margaret set us all at ease. It was SO MUCH FUN to hear and see Susan share her wisdom. What a natural. G was her usual fun self. Craig and I got a chance to talk personal training. Margo Meyers, the PR Guru, and I talked coaching and therapy.

Incredible adventure…so glad I got out of my own way.

What might I experience in the trance part of our session?

Often when I receive an inquiry regarding hypnotherapy, the caller asks what will I experience in the hypnosis (I call it “trance”) portion of our session? How will I feel? I explain that “each person’s experience is different, if you feel apprehensive and we need to work toward that part we will, you are always in complete control, and my experience is that each session might produce a completely different experience”…Throughout my site I define hypnotherapy, subconscious work, and my approach.

Today I thought I would share, with permission, the beautiful vision one of my patients sent to me after our last session together. I asked her “What were you feeling?”  These are her own words; “freedom, peace, happiness, bliss, love,  joy, ecstasy, and energized AND calm”…she asked me “is that possible”? My response was YES, I definitely believe we can feel both calm and energized at the same time. I am filled with gratitude for her willingness to share the amazing picture she created and have posted it below.

heidi's trance vision 10.2014

5 strategies for creating change

change is a processChange is constant. We are currently in a season of change. This transition is not overnight; it’s a process…and this is the same as any change we set out to make in our own lives.

Over the years I’ve found that the people who experience the most easeful, sustainable change are willing to do the following;

1 – Acknowledge with compassion where they currently are in their lives. No judgment, shaming, “should”ing themselves.  Acceptance of where we are isn’t resigning ourselves to the status quo; it’s simply honoring our current reality.  Giving up the fight in order to create space for forward motion 😉

2 – Be willing to explore, “discover” what led us to our current circumstances; this is a bit like gardening if we pull the weed off but don’t remove it at the root we might not see said weed for a bit but it’s still in the soil and eventually it will appear again.  If we strive to change our lives by getting to the root of behaviors, we create the opportunity to permanently let go of that which no longer serves us.

3 – Triggers. Identify what pushes our particular “buttons”.  Recognize that triggers are a part of life.  Create an if/then approach to shift the neural pathway. IF I find myself “triggered” THEN I apply this new, previously discussed coping mechanism, eventually producing a new, more optimal, pattern.

4 – Adopt an attitude of love, kindness, compassion and patience with yourself…perhaps the way you would treat a cherished friend.  Most of us recognize that berating those close to us when we don’t like their behavior is not motivating or inspiring.  This approach keeps us locked in the same unhappy dynamic in our relationships.  This applies to our relationship to self as well.

5 – See change as a practice.  Our commitment to 1 – 4 over, and over and over produces the most optimal results.


Wishing you great joy on your journey…step by step


start your day….5 suggestions

1 – Begin with intention; visualize before you get out of bed the type of day you desire to create…

in this way we integrate our subconscious mind and harness the power of both the subconscious and the conscious in working toward our goals

2 – Practice gratitude…yes, we hear and read this all the time…because it works 🙂

an easy way to incorporate gratitude is “notice”; as you head out of the house and into your day capture the beauty around you as if you were taking snapshots, take in the moment

3 – Be interested in the people you interact with; if you stop for coffee engage with the barista, if you drop your child with a caregiver take a minute to inquire about their morning

feed the human desire for connection AND get out of your head and into your morning,

4 – Move, meditate, pray or journal…find your flow; incorporate into your daily routine a ritual that connects you with you

this can be 5 minutes with your legs up the wall or a 90 minute spin/yoga class, it matters not the length of time, what matters is that this practice begins your day with self care; you nurturing you

5- Don’t drag yesterday into today…give yourself and the people around you, to the best of your ability, a clean slate

this isn’t an easy one for me…but when I do it, I’m free….and freedom brings greater joy, love, peace!


….I’d love to hear your thoughts on the above; please add a comment or shoot me an email sharing what works best for you 🙂

happy day…happy life xopersonal_growth_barrier_3_b


Know better…Do better

We do the people around us a huge disservice when we speak like we have it “all together”…each of us has something we can learn, grow and develop.   To speak from a place of authority suggests to others a “perfection” that I hope as a human being I never feel I have achieved…doing our best and recognizing that best is different every day is part of the human experience.  Each and every person we interact with has the opportunity to be our teacher; from the tiniest of babies to a person in the sunset of their lives.  Yes, I strive to be considered an expert in my chosen profession AND what I desire even more is to be a human being growing and becoming my best self; better every day.  Walking my talk…not just talking it.  When we commit to learning, we are always expanding our knowledge base.  That’s part of the experience of coaching/therapy…supporting a person in knowing my mission Mayathemselves better so they can do better. That’s one of my favorite quotes by Maya Angelou “know better, do better” but I chose to post the one attached because I think that’s the attitude we need to cultivate in order to create great change; “I am going to thrive.”

Listen to…THE voice

When I listen quietly I am able to hear my own voice…not the inner critic that if left to her own devices engages in constant banter. NOT that dialogue. No, this voice doesn’t label me “wrong” or “bad”. This voice offers love, honor, respect and kindness. This voice guides me forward from a place of wisdom; offers suggestions that align the present with my future goals, dreams and desires.

This is the input I receive when I arrive on my mat in yoga…especially those days that I feel led to a particular class, not with the purpose of “getting my practice in” or “exercise”, but because something in here (picture me pointing at my heart) is directing me there(now at the mat). It’s the same voice that says; “pick up the phone” and reach out to a friend in Indiana, or “send an email” to a certain client to check in right now, or “tonight choose another route home”. Direction. Guidance. Counsel.

I’ve often heard clients refer to a voice that tells them how they “should” be, what they “should” do; as I hear THAT voice described I often think of words like “punitive, demanding, shaming, critical”. Many of us have been taught that voices with such qualities are beneficial; they help us stay on task, they provide discipline, invoke will power. In our initial session I often ask clients to consider giving up the “should”ing on themselves. Until recently I was so sure that I did not “should” on myself, I’d moved on. Perhaps like me you are tricking yourself to believe that your inner voice is always loving? Here’s what I learned recently when I had a conversation with one of the people I love and admire most in the world; mine needs some more practice. In the kindest, most gentle, loving way my friend mentioned that I have a very strong idea of who I “should” be and that idea might get in the way of the self love, acceptance and compassion that is necessary for me to become who I am meant to be and who I haven’t yet become. Ideals can sound “should’ing”; a forgiving person does a, b and c…so I must…A loving person does d, e, and f so I must, and the list goes on…

And so it is with some who arrive at my office with their lists; I suggest we start with acceptance of where we are in order to create where we wish to be, that the idea of loving ourselves, as is, not only creates a smoother journey but it offers us much needed tools and skills for the adventure; like the ability AND quiet to hear THE voice.

I believe THAT voice gently guided me to visit my mentor, my friend, allowing me deeper reflection, insight and perspective on myself and therefore my work. Perhaps as each of us sets intention for the new year we might first commit to listening to that quiet voice within and start from there.

Small Business Saturday

small business saturday

Today is Small Business Saturday – a day dedicated to supporting small businesses across the country.

As someone who owns a small business (10 years in January!) I love the idea of small business owners banding together and supporting one another, encouraging their patrons to do the same. According to a recent study*when we shop small, at independent locally owned businesses, over 50% of what we spend stays right in our community. I love that. So if you are out and about today starting your holiday shopping, I would encourage you to shop small and support one of your local neighborhood businesses.

I am fortunate that my small business does not feel like “work.” I am truly honored that through my business I am able to support YOU in creating your best life; be that your career, relationships, physical or emotional well-being.

I am offering the following small business Saturday packages in celebration of today, and in anticipation of many people’s desire to hit “reset” during or after the holidays. If you are currently working with me feel free to hit “pause” on our current package. If you haven’t seen me in years and wish to create a change, I’d love to see you. This prepaid investment will be available for purchase through December 10th and can be applied to sessions between now and April 1, 2014.

10 hours for $1,000
6 hours for $660
1 session for $250

In addition after the first of the year I will begin a thirty minute “hit reset” offering. In thirty minutes, over the phone, I can (and will!) coach you through a current challenge or get you into trance to support you in moving toward your goals, dreams and desires. Yes, trance work is absolutely accessible over the phone…I’ve been working with people all over the country by phone for years.


Change - Blue ButtonSometimes I wish I could push this button; immediately and permanently implementing the changes I wish to create in my life.

I am not alone, many of my clients come to see me with that same goal. Often prior to a client walking in we discuss this. They realize I am not in possession of a magic wand but hope I have a quick fix. I do. Hypnotherapy. The power of their own subconscious minds. But, that’s another blog…or a peruse of my website.


Many of the changes we desire to be immediate are the healthier alternatives to habits we created a life time ago; patterns engraved deep within the subconscious mind. We make ourselves “wrong” and “bad” for behaviors that are less than desirable; that perhaps no longer serve us.

What’s important to note is these patterns were developed as coping mechanisms; they were built on the best of intentions, most likely to keep us “safe.” Often the behaviors were either role modeled or directly taught by our adult caretakers to us as very young people to soothe, reward or protect us.

Clients contact me having identified a behavior they wish to change. Far too often they are at a point of self condemnation. Will power and discipline have been attempted shame, criticism follow when those techniques are not successful. Punitive methods are the tool of choice. This NEVER works long term. The use of aversion may create short term success but it’s not sustainable. The path to permanent change begins another way.

The process:

Acceptance of self in current state
Adding compassion, kindness and love to the mix here speeds along the process
Next, discover the why of the behavior
Each behavior has a motivation, a purpose
Identify the trigger/triggers
(For instance I eat/drink/smoke when I am “blank” to create “blank”)
The re-action to the trigger is what most of us desire to change
At THIS point we can begin to implement a new behavior
A simple tool is the if…then
If we find ourselves triggered each and every time then we push the button, pause and hit the new button, so to speak; invoke the new behavior…repeat…repeat…repeat…

We won’t be perfect at first, we may never be “perfect” but each time we pause and hit the new button we create a new possibility, a new path, a new way of being…

Change is a practice. So in a funny way if we keep hitting this button, keep repeating that new behavior then YES, we will create real change.