Sometimes I wish I could push this button; immediately and permanently implementing the changes I wish to create in my life.
I am not alone, many of my clients come to see me with that same goal. Often prior to a client walking in we discuss this. They realize I am not in possession of a magic wand but hope I have a quick fix. I do. Hypnotherapy. The power of their own subconscious minds. But, that’s another blog…or a peruse of my website.
Many of the changes we desire to be immediate are the healthier alternatives to habits we created a life time ago; patterns engraved deep within the subconscious mind. We make ourselves “wrong” and “bad” for behaviors that are less than desirable; that perhaps no longer serve us.
What’s important to note is these patterns were developed as coping mechanisms; they were built on the best of intentions, most likely to keep us “safe.” Often the behaviors were either role modeled or directly taught by our adult caretakers to us as very young people to soothe, reward or protect us.
Clients contact me having identified a behavior they wish to change. Far too often they are at a point of self condemnation. Will power and discipline have been attempted shame, criticism follow when those techniques are not successful. Punitive methods are the tool of choice. This NEVER works long term. The use of aversion may create short term success but it’s not sustainable. The path to permanent change begins another way.
Acceptance of self in current state
Adding compassion, kindness and love to the mix here speeds along the process
Next, discover the why of the behavior
Each behavior has a motivation, a purpose
Identify the trigger/triggers
(For instance I eat/drink/smoke when I am “blank” to create “blank”)
The re-action to the trigger is what most of us desire to change
At THIS point we can begin to implement a new behavior
A simple tool is the if…then
If we find ourselves triggered each and every time then we push the button, pause and hit the new button, so to speak; invoke the new behavior…repeat…repeat…repeat…
We won’t be perfect at first, we may never be “perfect” but each time we pause and hit the new button we create a new possibility, a new path, a new way of being…
Change is a practice. So in a funny way if we keep hitting this button, keep repeating that new behavior then YES, we will create real change.
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